Claiming Excalibur Read online

  “Being back here is hard,” he finally admitted as they stepped down a winding staircase. “Seeing that everything my family built has survived makes me happy, but seeing it so ruined…hurts. Every time I close my eyes, I hope to see my home whole and living again. When I open them, all I see is this.” He wrapped his hand around a thick vine of bright leaves. He tugged at it, ripping it away from the wall, and let it fall to the ground. But the remaining vines shook, and another grew to replace it. The king’s jaw clenched tight as his eyes narrowed.

  “Arthur.” Aliana wrapped her hand around his clenched fist, trying to lead him away from the wall and into the hall at the bottom of the stairs. He didn’t move for a moment, and then he closed his eyes and turned, letting her pull him away. “Talk to me,” she both pleaded and demanded.

  “Everywhere I look I can see things how they were. I can see my mother in her rooms and in the gardens. I can see my father talking strategy with his advisors. I can remember the parties and training with my men. I still see myself as a child sitting at a table with my tutors standing over me.” They walked into a new hall, this one a little less overrun, but that didn’t seem to lighten Arthur’s dark mood. “I remember getting into trouble with Galahad and Lancelot as children. I can still see all the knighting ceremonies I performed, and I remember the rare look of pride in my father’s eyes when he knighted me.”

  He spoke of each memory with pain, longing, and the barest hint of hopefulness. Desperate to give him some kind of comfort, Aliana let go of his clenched fist and wrapped her hand around his arm, pressing lightly into his side. A small breath whooshed from his mouth. Slowly his other hand came up and covered her hand.

  “Thank you,” he said tenderly.

  “Can you tell me more?”

  “Right up there—” he pointed to a small cove just ahead of them “—is where I shared my first kiss with Guinevere.”

  Aliana’s eyes widened, and an unexpected flare of jealousy popped. “I wasn’t aware you all engaged in such inappropriate behavior before wedding a girl,” she joked. Another image stole into her mind of Arthur pressing his ghost girl into that same corner, kissing her with the same passion as Galahad kissed Aliana. She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to break up the wrongness of that thought. But why was it wrong?

  “I think you’d be surprised by a lot of the things we did and the ways we acted,” Arthur said with a less than enthusiastic chuckle.

  None of the knights were chaste. Aliana recalled Dagg’s words to her when they’d first found Galahad in the Sidhe’s dungeon. She gulped as they continued down the hall, away from Arthur’s old make out spot. He stopped and pulled her to an open window that overlooked another ruined courtyard.

  Aliana wasn’t stupid. She knew Arthur must’ve “been with” other girls. But had Galahad? She’d never thought to ask him before. Heck, they hadn’t really even talked about her old flames.

  “We used to hold public celebrations here.” Arthur pointed toward the ground. “That area used to be an archway that led into the town market.”

  “I can only imagine how amazing all of this must’ve been.”

  Arthur sighed. “I wish you could’ve been here in my time. You would’ve enjoyed it.”

  She looked at him and asked, “What else is bothering you, Arthur? You know you can tell me anything.”

  Arthur’s hand fell to the sword tucked safely into the belt around his waist. The uncovered blade glinted in the late sunlight. “We have Excalibur back, and we’re learning things that may help us, but there are still so many unanswered questions. I’d hoped we’d find answers here, but all we’ve found is what the queen wanted us to.”

  Aliana thought back to Morgana’s evil hidey-hole and what she’d found there. She’d planned to show the box to Arthur and the others when they were all gathered again, but her gut screamed at her to keep it hidden. The knights probably wouldn’t know anything about it, anyhow, and she didn’t want to add to the list of mysteries Arthur already worried about, so she decided to keep it secret until she talked to Merlin. “But surely knowing there’s a chance your kingdom can be whole again gives you hope.”

  “It does, but it—” he glanced at her quickly then down at the empty enclosure “—it’s another pressure to worry about. There’s even more on the line with this new knowledge.”

  “Would you rather Titania hadn’t told you?” she asked. Arthur silently stared at what was once his kingdom. “Arthur?”

  “Part of me wishes she hadn’t. There are already so many things weighing on me, duties I need to focus on…” He stared at her for a long moment before looking away again. “Personal things that constantly distract me, and now this new possibility. I know I must never give up, but I can’t help worrying that I’m going to let everyone down.”

  “You won’t!” How could he think that? “Are you forgetting you solved the riddle that even the boy geniuses couldn’t? You did what many thought impossible and reclaimed Excalibur! I have complete faith in you.”

  His eyes were again on her, dulled by a vulnerable glint. “How can you have so much faith in me?”

  She turned her body toward his, and he mirrored her move. “I know you. I’ve seen the way you are, the kind of man you are. You think with your head and your heart, doing what you believe to be best for everyone.”

  “Even if it’s not something you like?” A faint smile teased his mouth.

  She couldn’t help grinning. “Well, it’s always better to yield to my expert judgment, but I can let you get away with disagreeing with me once or twice.” Finally, he laughed and Aliana’s own giggles joined his.

  He sobered. “It would kill me if you or any of our friends were hurt because of my mistaken judgment.”

  “You can’t be the leader we all need you to be if you doubt yourself.”

  “I’m not infallible.”

  Aliana reached up and took his face in her hands to stop him from turning away again. “Stop that! You may be a legendary king, but you’re still a man. No one expects you to be perfect!”

  “I have to be! One wrong move or decision and everyone could suffer. I’m a king. I don’t have the luxury of being wrong. I made the wrong decision once, and it cost me and my people everything.”

  “That’s why you have us! Your friends. We won’t let you do this alone. Would you ever let me do any of this on my own?”

  His eyes sparked, like a fire had been lit within them. “Of course not.”

  She stroked her fingers over his cheeks and stubbled chin, smiling. “Then what makes you think we’d leave you alone? That I would let you do this alone?”

  Tension seemed to drain from his body, and his shoulders relaxed. “You wouldn’t.”

  “Exactly. We’re all in this together.”

  Smiling, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into a tight hug. One of his hands cupped the back of her neck as she buried her face in his shoulder. “I don’t know how I would get through this without you, Aliana.”

  Squeezing him tighter, she lifted her head and stretched up on her tiptoes to place a quick kiss on his whiskered cheek. “You must have hope, Arthur. And once you have that, you can’t let it go.”

  He leaned forward, his forehead resting against hers. His eyelids slid closed, and he wore an expression of contentment. Taking a deep breath, he slowly leaned back. “We should return to the great hall. The others are sure to be back by now.”

  Not wanting to lose the nearness, Aliana held him for an extra moment before stepping out of the comfort of his embrace. “Okay. Can we go a different way than we came? I’d like to see more of the castle.”

  The king took her hand, tucking it into his bent arm and leading her down the hall and up a different set of steps. When they returned to the others, the fire pit was lit. The warmth felt amazing on Aliana’s skin. She hadn’t even realized she’d become chilled. Leo and Percy were cooking what appeared to be a very large pair of rabbits. Several spikes of strange-l
ooking vegetables roasted next to the hares.

  Galahad approached, and Aliana stepped to his side, beaming a last smile at Arthur before he made his way over to Owen.

  “Everything okay?” Galahad asked as the pair of them sat down next to Lacy and Percy. Something about Galahad’s demeanor seems strange, like he might be angry.

  “Yeah, Arthur just needed to get some fresh air.” What Arthur had shared with her wasn’t something she felt comfortable telling anyone, not even the knight she loved. But his story about Guinevere seemed harmless, and her knight would become suspicious if she didn’t go into any detail at all. “So, Arthur was telling me stories about girls. When did you first kiss a girl?”

  Galahad raised a brow and shot a look at Arthur, who was busy in conversation with Owen and Dagg. “I believe I was eleven when I kissed one of the village girls. And you? When did you have your first kiss?”

  Wow, eleven. He sure worked quickly. “I was fifteen. I’d just started at a regular high school, and we were at a football game after party.”

  Galahad turned away when Percy handed him two plates full of food. They ate while the knights discussed guard rotation and speculated on whether or not Merlin had been able to get some answers from his friend in Olympus. Aliana’s mind wandered back to Wade and Dawn, she hoped they were okay and that Merlin had been able to heal her “brother.”

  Lacy scooted closer to Aliana and whispered, “Do you think Dawn has gotten any dirt on Merlin yet?”

  Aliana shrugged. “I wonder if Dawn’s half-blood explanation is the same as yours. Maybe she had a Nymph mix with her family tree sometime way back.”

  Lacy sat back and made a humming sound. “Maybe. Either way, Merlin is hiding something.”

  Aliana lowered her voice even more, “Speaking of hiding things, have you said anything to Percy about the box we found?”

  “No, not yet.”

  “Let’s keep it that way for now. With everything else we have to think about, this can wait until we see Merlin. He’ll probably know what it is, being the know-it-all Druid.”

  “I can live with that.” Lacy fixed Aliana with a challenging look. “As long as we don’t open it between now and tomorrow morning when we go back.”

  “Unless my name has changed to Pandora, we’re good.”

  Aliana changed the subject when she saw Galahad’s blue eyes watching her. She smiled, offering him her last bit of rabbit. The meal was tasty, but she had too much on her mind to be able to digest much. It had been so easy to tell Arthur that he needed to believe in himself, so why couldn’t she do the same for herself? Why did she let Titania’s schemes weigh her down? Because everything rests on you, the Destined One, the key to Mordrid’s undoing. She sighed, laying her head on Lacy’s shoulder. She really needed to start following her own advice.

  Galahad had first watch that night. While everyone else fell asleep, Aliana lay awake on her mat with Dagg curled up next to her. She was still trying to reconcile her whack-a-do feelings. Quietly, she got up and tiptoed to Galahad near the main doors of the great hall.

  “What are you still doing awake?” he asked, keeping his voice low. “You need to rest so your magic will be strong for tomorrow.”

  She glanced down at her gauntlet. “If I can use the magic from this stone rather than my own, I suspect I won’t get as drained from using magic.”

  “You should still try to sleep.”

  “Are you saying you don’t want me near you right now?” She said it playfully, hoping he wasn’t upset with her. He’d continued to be quiet since she’d come back with Arthur. The only conversation she’d gotten from him was the brief one about first kisses.

  “I always want you near me.” His blue eyes blazed on her.

  Her lips pulled to the side. “Then what’s got you looking so dejected?” He flicked his gaze away from her. “Is it being back here?”

  “Partly. I’m worried about everything and…”

  “And what?” She nudged his side until he took the hint and wrapped his arm around her.

  “I feel like there are memories trying to force their way back into my mind, but I can’t grasp onto them. There aren’t any holes in what I remember about my life here, so I don’t know what it could be. And I keep seeing things that worry me.”

  Aliana frowned, her fingers tracing over the Pendragon crest on his silver cuff. “Like what?”

  “They’re nothing dangerous, at least not to our safety.”

  “But you’re not going to tell me what they are,” she said.

  “They’re things I can’t talk about right now.” He sighed. “If I do, I won’t be focused on our safety.”

  Aliana leaned her head on his chest, trying to hide how much it hurt that he wouldn’t confide in her. But could she blame him? She hadn’t exactly been forthcoming about her own secrets, and maybe that was hurting him.

  19

  It was a risk telling her I’m her grandmother. I know my Destined One well enough to know she’s upset and confused. But the reward should outweigh the risk. Telling them that Camelot may live again gave them the extra nudge they needed to stay focused on the quest. And now that I have the fire sword…well, besides that foolish Sir Galahad’s infatuation with Aliana, I can think of only one thing that could interfere with my plans: Oberon. He’s been nosing around me too much lately, taking interest in my comings and goings. And Puck has been conspicuously absent. I need to see what the trickster knows.

  ~Titania

  AREN’T YOU EVEN GOING TO TELL GALAHAD? Dawn’s question about Josh from days ago came back to Aliana. Maybe it was finally time for her to tell someone. And who better than the knight who loved her?

  Taking a deep breath, she shored up her courage. “I’ve only ever dated four guys in my life, not including you, and they seemed like they really cared. It was stupid, but I fell for each of them instantly. Matt, the first guy I dated, was only interested in me because he had a bet with his football buddies about ‘scoring’ with a movie star’s daughter.” Aliana snuggled tighter to Galahad when his hand brushed over her bare arm. “Jackson, the second guy, was a bit of an outcast at school, but he was nice even though a lot of people thought he was only trouble. Then he got busted for supplying several guys on the football and basketball teams with steroids and other drugs.”

  “You didn’t know that about him?” Galahad asked.

  She shook her head. “One of the many reasons I don’t trust my judgment when it comes to guys.”

  Galahad turned her face up to his with his finger under her chin. “I’m sorry they’ve caused you to doubt yourself so much. You have no reason to.”

  She sank deeper into his strong arms, and their electric bond pulsed through her. “The third guy, Bryan, was an artist I met at one of my mom’s parties the summer before my senior year. Thanks to her, I was working with a few local models on completing a photo series, my Arthurian series, actually.”

  Galahad chuckled.

  “I went out with him a few times, and I really liked him—a lot more than Matt and Jackson, but then I found him hooking up with two of the girls who were modeling for me. It broke my heart. Even worse, they’d been getting busy right on one of my sets. Needless to say, I scrapped that particular photo.” She remained silent for a long moment, trying to erase the embarrassing and painful image from her mind and figure out how much to tell him about Josh.

  “What about the fourth guy?” he asked.

  She took a big breath. “I met him a few months after that. He was a freshman at a local college. I was in a bookstore, and he ran into me, and one thing led to another. After we’d been dating for a few weeks, he took me, Lacy, Dawn, and Wade to one of his frat parties, and he…” Her pain resurfaced, and she wrapped her arms around herself. Galahad reached down and took one of her clenched hands in his, gently rubbing slow patterns across her flesh with his thumb until she relaxed enough to twine her fingers with his.

  “I never really drank alcohol, but Josh handed
me a cup and I stupidly wanted to impress him, so I drank it really fast.” She paused again, and Galahad didn’t push her to continue, giving her the time she needed to find her words. “I thought I was drunk. I felt dizzy, and I was really confused. He helped me out of the party house, and then he—he…” She took another deep breath, fighting her building tears. Galahad tensed around her. “I found out later that he’d put something in my drink, a drug that makes a person disoriented and weak. He tried to…force himself on me.” She gripped Galahad’s hand. The knight remained frozen like a furious statue. “I tried to fight back, but the drugs…” She cleared her throat. “Thankfully, Lacy and Dawn had gotten worried and found us before…” A ghost of a smile crossed her lips as she remembered the beating Lacy had laid on him.

  “What happened to this boy?” Galahad voice was rough and angry.

  She breathed in his comforting, wintery spice smell. “We got away, but I was too ashamed and scared to tell my parents or anyone else. A week later Lace and D convinced me to go to the police. Dawn had told her mom about it. Aunt Michelle agreed to wait a few days before telling my parents as long as I let her help me.”

  “I don’t understand why you didn’t want to tell your parents.”

  She shrugged against him. “I didn’t want to see the disappointment in their eyes. The rational part of my brain knows they wouldn’t have blamed me, but…I guess I blamed myself. And as gentle of a person as my dad was, he would’ve killed Josh.”

  “I wouldn’t blame him,” Galahad growled. “If I ever see this boy, I will kill him for hurting you.”

  Aliana stiffened. That was one of the reasons she hadn’t wanted to tell him. “You can’t, Galahad! He was punished for it.” Though why he’s already out of jail, I can’t figure out! She decided to not tell Galahad that Josh was free and working at her father’s old school.

  “What did your parents do when you told them?” The steel bands of his arms held her tightly.

  “They never found out,” she whispered. “They…Josh’s attack was two weeks before they…”